Going home to Kenya for a funeral

Nobody plans this trip. The call comes, and you are booking a flight for tomorrow and a car for the village. You are grieving, you are on the phone with family in three time zones, and you are being asked how much you can contribute before you have even sat down. We are sorry. This page is here to make the practical part lighter: what we can do in 24 hours, and what to know about Kenyan funerals if you were raised abroad.

The short version. If you hold a valid Kenyan passport, you can fly on it and need no eTA. On a U.S. passport, apply for the eTA on the official portal the moment you book, because it can take up to 72 hours, and buy Kenya's inbound travel insurance at the same time. Book the earliest one-stop flight that lands before the burial date. Tell us your arrival and the address at home; we meet you at JKIA whatever the hour and drive you there, or to Nairobi first if that is where the family is gathering.

The first 24 hours

• Ask the family for the likely burial date before you book; Kenyan burials are often one to two weeks after a death, which usually gives you time, but Muslim burials happen within about a day
• Check your passports: a valid Kenyan passport means no eTA; a U.S. passport needs at least six months' validity and a blank page
• Book the flight, then apply for the eTA immediately on etakenya.go.ke, and buy the inbound insurance on eCitizen
• Tell your employer: many U.S. employers offer bereavement leave, though often only a few days for a trip that needs a week or more
• Send us your flight, the home address and who is traveling with you; we arrange the pickup and the drive
• Pack light, and pack dark clothes, documents and a power bank; you can buy most other things in Nairobi

Getting a seat

Round-trip fares from the U.S. to Nairobi usually run from about $900 to $1,600, and a ticket bought for the next day can cost more, especially in December or the July and August peak. Most airlines have dropped bereavement fares; a few still offer them, or waive change fees, if you call with details of the death and the funeral. Ask, but compare with the lowest public fare, which is often cheaper. One-stop routes through Doha, Dubai, Istanbul, Amsterdam, Paris, London or New York's nonstop give you options; our flights guide and the city pages list the best from your airport.

Buy a ticket you can change if you can afford the difference. Funeral dates move, and you may want to stay longer than you planned.

Paperwork, done fast

If the eTA has not come through by the time you must leave, contact the airline before you go to the airport; carriers check it at boarding. Apply for everyone in the family at once.

Landing and the road home

Most flights from the U.S. land in Nairobi early in the morning or late at night. We meet you in the arrivals hall with a name board, whatever time it is, and drive you straight to the family home or to a hotel to sleep first. We advise against driving upcountry after dark: rural roads are unlit, and pedestrians, livestock and unlit trucks share them. If you land at night, rest in Nairobi and leave at dawn. Our guide to visiting upcountry covers drive times by region.

What a Kenyan funeral involves

If you grew up in the U.S., a Kenyan funeral can be overwhelming in size and in length. Customs differ by community, faith and family, but this is the common shape.

• The announcement: the death is announced to the community, often on vernacular radio, in the newspaper and on WhatsApp, and the home becomes a gathering place
• The matanga: the days of mourning at home, when relatives, neighbors and church members come to sit with the family, pray, sing and eat, often late into the night
• Funeral committee meetings: in the evenings, at home and often in Nairobi too, a committee plans the burial and raises money through a harambee; the diaspora is usually expected to contribute
• The mortuary: the body is kept at a mortuary until the burial; on the day, the family collects it and travels home in a procession
• The burial day: a service at home under tents, or at church, the program with the eulogy and tributes, speeches that can include local leaders, the viewing, and the burial, usually in the family's land
• After the burial: a meal for everyone, and in many communities further rites in the days that follow, such as the shaving of heads or a cleansing ceremony

Among the Luo, funerals often last several days, with a night vigil before the burial. Muslim families bury quickly and simply, which may mean you arrive after the burial and join the mourning instead. Catholic and Protestant families usually hold a church service or a mass at home. Ask a relative to walk you through your family's customs on the first evening; nobody will mind the question.

Your role from abroad

Families often look to the diaspora for money, and that can feel heavy on top of grief. Many U.S. communities hold their own fundraisers and memorials, and diaspora welfare groups often have bereavement funds; our directory of Kenyan associations in the U.S. lists some. Give what you can, through the funeral committee's treasurer, and ask for the committee's accounts if you are contributing a large share. You may also be asked to give a tribute or read the eulogy, often for the relatives who could not travel. Write it on the plane; it helps.

Bringing a loved one home from the U.S.

If the person who died lived in the U.S., the family may want to bury them at home. This is common, and it is expensive and slow, so start early and use a licensed funeral home that has done it before.

• The death is registered and a death certificate issued in the U.S.; nothing can be moved or embalmed before that
• A funeral home handles embalming, a sealed casket for air transport, permits and the airline cargo booking
• The Kenyan Embassy in Washington issues a letter of no objection for the remains or ashes to be transported to Kenya; it says it charges no fee, and asks for proof that the person was Kenyan, such as their passport, ID or birth certificate
• The remains fly as cargo to Nairobi or Mombasa; a receiving funeral home or agent clears them and transports them home
• Cremation is an option some families choose; ashes need the embassy letter too, and are far simpler to carry

One diaspora guide puts the total cost from death abroad to burial in Kenya at roughly $7,000 to $18,000, depending on the funeral home, the airline and the distance to the burial place. Ask two funeral homes for written quotes, and check whether the person had life insurance or belonged to a welfare group with a bereavement fund. Follow the embassy's current instructions, which can change.

What to bring, and how long to stay

• Dark or muted clothes for the burial, a warm layer for cold nights upcountry, and shoes you can wear in mud
• Your documents, and copies: passports, Kenyan ID if you have one, and anything the family needs signed
• Cash in shillings for contributions and for the many small costs of the week, or M-Pesa on a local SIM
• A power bank and a local SIM, because the family will need you reachable

Most people stay about a week: a few days of mourning at home before the burial, the burial day, and a day or two after. If you can, stay a little longer. The days after the burial, when the tents come down, are often when the family most needs you.

What the trip costs

Grief and distance

Losing someone at home while you live abroad carries its own pain: the goodbye you did not get, the years you were away, the feeling of arriving as a guest at your own family's grief. Many diaspora Kenyans say the funeral was where they reconnected with cousins they had not seen in decades. Let people look after you. Eat the food, sit by the fire, and when you are back in the U.S., give yourself time.